Hi! I'm Mary Grace aka Meari Gurezu (メアリーグレース). This is the haven of my brainstorm ideas, stories, analog photographs, rants and daydreams.

(All photos and writings are mine unless otherwise stated.)
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It’s more than just she was the one who kissed me. But it was, more importantly, my first kiss.

But then I should have not think about it anymore. If its not a big deal to her, it SHOULDN’T be big deal to me too. It doesn’t matter that it feels sweet and great. That I refused to brush my teeth that night to get hold of her lips next to mine. It was the first time. Maybe if I kiss somebody else, I would know there are far more exciting kisses than that. Right? I must go out and kiss someone else then.

How come a person could do that out of nothing? Did my breath smells like a spoiled fish? Am I not good? But if my memory serves me right, she did not kiss me only once. She drank that beer again and kissed me again. We went on until there’s no more to consume. I thought the fun was over. I felt sad looking  at the empty bottle. We laughed. And fell silent. And the next time we found ourselves kissing again, over ice cream, over ice. We wrapped them together with out thirsty mouths. We didn’t talk with words. We just looked at each other or laugh.  My fidgety hands on her waist. He hands massaging and pulling my hair. Her breath brushing to my ear. Ahh..It feels so good. It was the first time I felt a connection with the universe I’m living in. I remember every details of that night. It keeps replaying on my mind.

It’s been a week. We are in the same room. Hell, we even sit beside each other. She talked with everyone else except me. I feel like I don’t have any difference with that cactus plant sitting in the middle of the teacher’s table. Or that bulletin board that no one bothered to read. These past few days, there was this vacuum around her. If I dare to step on that vaccum, I won’t breath.  I don’t feel I have a body with me right now. I doubt if I’m still a solid matter. Everybody sees me but her eyes peering through mine is the only thing I cared about.

"Stop staring at me."

She’s saying something. I think it’s for me. But she’s not looking at me. Her eyes are looking straight ahead like a possessed doll. Nothing is moving except her mouth. I even doubt if she’s really talking.

" I loved you but only for that moment. "

I almost said why but she already answered.

"You know, love is the same with having a fever or a disease. Scientifically proven.  I just get healed from it rather too easily than most people. Just a bite from an ant, I suppose."

And then nothing. She is writing on her notebook now. Her handwriting is cursive, with equal spacing, with balance, beautiful. It’s a delight for me to watch her write. I want her to talk to me more. Even what she just said was painful to hear. Minutes passed and I began to think that what I heard is just a glitch on reality and I am just hearing things.

——-

#lol, it’s been awhile since I wrote something. Hello tumblersphere! I’m alone in the office. ;( :(

Reblogged from ding-ang-bato  353 notes

Life is such unutterable hell, solely because it is sometimes beautiful. If we could only be miserable all the time, if there could be no such things as love or beauty or faith or hope, if I could be absolutely certain that my love would never be returned: how much more simple life would be. One could plod through the Siberian salt mines of existence without being bothered about happiness. Unfortunately the happiness is there. There is always the chance (about eight hundred and fifty to one) that another heart will come to mine. I can’t help hoping, and keeping faith, and loving beauty. Quite frequently I am not so miserable as it would be wise to be. By

T.H. White, Ghostly, Grim and Gruesome  (via ding-ang-bato)

THE FEELS ~~~~~~

Reblogged from miss-see-me  17 notes

Love of Only Five Minutes

This is a poem I wrote before. One stanza is inspired by my admiration with Nikola Tesla.

miss-see-me:

Maybe you fell in love with me
when I was still color blind
when everything for me is black and white
including you
I thought you’re just a gray cloud,
Following me around trying to cure my eyes
One day you actually did it
When,at last, I can differentiate hue and variations of red green and blue
And among all of these,I decided to be my favorite color is you
You left.


Or maybe I fell in love with you
When you’re living in the time of Renaissance
While you invent and achieve scientific breakthroughs
You wondered why  your amazing discoveries
never lead you to understand the realms of love
And I know why
it’s because I’m living hundred years to your future.

Or maybe you fell in love with me one day
When I approach you to ask directions
but when you blinked I was gone
Because I’m in fact living from other dimension
A lost passerby of your world
The moment you wish I appear again
I probably million light-years away.

Or maybe or rather I strongly believe
That we’re both ordinary human who fell in love
But for only five minutes.
You measure me on how close I look from your favourite fantasy character.
I measure you by comparing your wisdom to the depths of the ocean
Unfortunately we both failed miserably
We pushed and let happiness slipped
In exchange of our superficial standards
Or maybe we did pass each other tests
But we’re both cowards
One too afraid of rejections
One too tired to take risk
Two wounded persons who had enough of compromises

So it doesn’t matter that we live in the same place
at the same time, at the same dimension
It doesn’t even that important that we’re just inches away from each other
That awhile ago we already smiled and felt something
Our happiness is just a five minute love affair
As long courage is absent
Forever it will be.


Ruruoni Kenshin 2:Kyoto Inferno Movie Review
Himura, after finally enjoying peaceful life in Kaoru’s dojo, is once again caught in a situation where he needs to kill. Shishio threat to overthrow the “New Age” government has been taking innocent lives and only Kenshin can defeat him.
Breathtaking from the first scene to the last. This is the kind of serious long movie that you won’t bother to watch again and again.These are the aspects of the movie that I liked in the order of how brilliant they are
1. Cinematography. Every scene is beautiful. The kind that you’ll like to keep a screenshot and use it as your wallpaper.
2.Fighting Scenes. I am too critical when it comes to fighting scenes specially sword fighting. There are movies that make it up by shaky camera work. Here, it is very neat. The fighting is very convincing and I really saw the Himura in Takeru Satoh.
3.Pacing of the story. Making a movie from a beloved anime arc is a tedious job. Fans will be looking out for their favorite scenes and many fail at this matter. This movie is not one of them. I admit that I don’t remember most of the details in the anime but at least I don’t feel lost at the story. It didn’t feel rushed.
4.The Villains. I have seen many Japanese films with Tetsuya Fujiwara in it (Battle Royale, Kaiji, Death Note…). When I heard that he would be “Shishio” in the sequel, my first reaction “It’s him again!?”. Honestly, I felt like he’s overrated. But I must take it back because I really enjoy his portrayal as Shishio. “I’m sorry Tetsuya-san!”. The second villain I liked is Sojiro. The cute demeanor hides a strong swordmanship at par with Kenshin. It accentuate the creepiness of this person. 
The only con that I can say is the backstory for “Aoshi”. In the movie. he’s an annoying little prick who just looks for Kenshin to kill him. His existence in the movie felt force while in the anime, he’s one of the beloved characters. I hope they will improve this character at the last movie.
Overall this is my verdict: 4/5!

Ruruoni Kenshin 2:Kyoto Inferno Movie Review

Himura, after finally enjoying peaceful life in Kaoru’s dojo, is once again caught in a situation where he needs to kill. Shishio threat to overthrow the “New Age” government has been taking innocent lives and only Kenshin can defeat him.

Breathtaking from the first scene to the last. This is the kind of serious long movie that you won’t bother to watch again and again.These are the aspects of the movie that I liked in the order of how brilliant they are

1. Cinematography. Every scene is beautiful. The kind that you’ll like to keep a screenshot and use it as your wallpaper.

2.Fighting Scenes. I am too critical when it comes to fighting scenes specially sword fighting. There are movies that make it up by shaky camera work. Here, it is very neat. The fighting is very convincing and I really saw the Himura in Takeru Satoh.

3.Pacing of the story. Making a movie from a beloved anime arc is a tedious job. Fans will be looking out for their favorite scenes and many fail at this matter. This movie is not one of them. I admit that I don’t remember most of the details in the anime but at least I don’t feel lost at the story. It didn’t feel rushed.

4.The Villains. I have seen many Japanese films with Tetsuya Fujiwara in it (Battle Royale, Kaiji, Death Note…). When I heard that he would be “Shishio” in the sequel, my first reaction “It’s him again!?”. Honestly, I felt like he’s overrated. But I must take it back because I really enjoy his portrayal as Shishio. “I’m sorry Tetsuya-san!”. The second villain I liked is Sojiro. The cute demeanor hides a strong swordmanship at par with Kenshin. It accentuate the creepiness of this person.

The only con that I can say is the backstory for “Aoshi”. In the movie. he’s an annoying little prick who just looks for Kenshin to kill him. His existence in the movie felt force while in the anime, he’s one of the beloved characters. I hope they will improve this character at the last movie.

Overall this is my verdict: 4/5!

Last year, it was Erik Matti’s OTJ. This year is for Michael Tuvera’s “The Janitor”. Though it can’t match the quality of the first one, it is a very good follow up. An action film with good actors, thrilling action and thought provoking story. Let’s make this a trend for more years to come, shall we? A bank robbery shocked the nation, not only the money  was taken but the perpetrators killed all the bank employees. Crisanto (Dennis Trillo) was set to eliminate those who are involved. For the success to do so would help him to be re-instated as a police officer.  Dennis Trillo proves to be an actor having his successful way to versatility. Long before “My Husband’s Lover”, he already won several awards as a crossdressing spy in his film “Aishite Imasu 1941: Mahal Kita”. This time he played a vigilante and, just like he can play homosexual effortlessly, he was also very convincing here.Notable performance too by Derek Ramsey which I didn’t expect because I am just so used to seeing him as a model or committing adultery to his movie wives.  What makes this a good action film? Even the good guys were at fault here and the bad guys were given time to have a “character” than just make them as “plain bad guys”. This is the real conflict that I think was lacking from previous action films. On the other hand, I think they fail to make some fighting scenes believable.  Most of them is obviously choreographed and predictable. But then the good factors outweighs the bad.  Overall, I totally recommend this film. Along with OTJ, “The Janitor” makes me believe that at last there is hope Philippine action film genre.
Support Local Indie Films!

Last year, it was Erik Matti’s OTJ. This year is for Michael Tuvera’s “The Janitor”. Though it can’t match the quality of the first one, it is a very good follow up. An action film with good actors, thrilling action and thought provoking story. Let’s make this a trend for more years to come, shall we?

A bank robbery shocked the nation, not only the money  was taken but the perpetrators killed all the bank employees. Crisanto (Dennis Trillo) was set to eliminate those who are involved. For the success to do so would help him to be re-instated as a police officer.
 
Dennis Trillo proves to be an actor having his successful way to versatility. Long before “My Husband’s Lover”, he already won several awards as a crossdressing spy in his film “Aishite Imasu 1941: Mahal Kita”. This time he played a vigilante and, just like he can play homosexual effortlessly, he was also very convincing here.Notable performance too by Derek Ramsey which I didn’t expect because I am just so used to seeing him as a model or committing adultery to his movie wives.  What makes this a good action film? Even the good guys were at fault here and the bad guys were given time to have a “character” than just make them as “plain bad guys”. This is the real conflict that I think was lacking from previous action films. On the other hand, I think they fail to make some fighting scenes believable.  Most of them is obviously choreographed and predictable. But then the good factors outweighs the bad.  Overall, I totally recommend this film. Along with OTJ, “The Janitor” makes me believe that at last there is hope Philippine action film genre.

Support Local Indie Films!

Film Review: “Children’s Show

Among the three films I watched yesterday at Cinemalaya 10, this is the best. Base on true story, “Children Show” is a film about children being used by a syndicate for underground wrestling match. I didn’t expect the fighting scenes to be gritty and realistic considering the age of the fighters. It is well done, something I won’t expect in an indie film. Many times I felt so tense I looked away from the screen (but it’s a good thing). The red scale cinematography fits the mood really well. I felt strongly on whatever happens on the story . But the best thing about this film are the great performances of the child actors. I laud Buboy Villar’s performance here. He deserves an award. His brother here is adorable too. Well executed. Two thumbs up!!

Rating: 8/10

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Set B Virgin Labfest Review

Hooray! Before this month ends, I better finished my yearly tradition of Virgin Labfest reviews This is now the last set. To read all reviews, just click this.

Once again, Virgin Labfest is an annual festival of untried and untested one act plays held at Cultural Center of the Philippines. It comes in four sets. In each set you will be rewarded with three one-act plays covering various themes.

Wendy Wants to be a Housewife

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Synopsis:Smart and pretty little Wendy is resigning from her current job and taking the first step towards her dream job–being a housewife. Assigned for her exit interview is Mark, a manager and a friend she once worked with on a project during her early years in the company. They talk about their past, their present, and the decisions they made that brought them to where they are now. Both of them take steps towards the future that they want. Unfortunately, only one of them succeeds. (source: CCP VLF synopsis)

Spoiler Alert: Inspite of Mark’s reasoning, Wendy still decided to resign to pursue being a housewife (even though she doens’t have any relationship at the moment). When she’s gone, Mark took the sunflowers under his desk and throw it to trash bin, the flowers that he believes Wendy’s favorite flowers. ( So Mark has feelings for her The truth is I don’t understand why he didn’t tell her. She doesn’t have a boyfriend to start with Hmp!)

Review: I think this play is written for me. Not that I want to be a housewife so soon, but this play speaks for loss young professionals. Like Wendy, I have in demand skills in the IT world but its not really that I want. While I certainly find myself in Wendy’s shoes, my mindset was like the manager. “Sayang..huwag muna…You have the skills like a superpower”. But I believe I’ll have Wendy’s courage to break free someday. Awesome performances and the topic is very relevant. Two thumbs up!!

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(A common office is the setting of Wendy Wants to be a Housewife)


Ang Naghihingalo

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Synopsis:Intoy is in critical condition after a ruptured aneurysm triggers a stroke and leaves him unconscious. The doctor recommends immediate surgery but even the down payment for the surgeon’s professional fee is beyond the means of the street ice cream vendor and his wife. Felisa, the wife, calls Intoy’s siblings for help. While their brother’s fate depends on their decision, the reunion between Guido, Doreen, and Linda results into bickering and opens up long-held feelings of animosity, resentment, and envy for each other. (source: CCP VLF synopsis)

Spoiler Alert : The siblings stopped finally stopped fighting only when the news came that Intoy had died.

Review:Dark comedy at its best. Certainly there’s nothing funny in the situation. Someone is dying and the relatives just quarreled until he died. The dialogue are serious but its really funny. One of those moments that I think the script alone would not certainly make me laugh. It has to be delivered by brilliant actors to show the nuisance of each characters. A witty dark comedy with finesse. No doubt this play has been chosen to have another run next year.

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(Emergency Waiting Room of Ang Naghihingalo)



The Missing Piece:

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Synopsis:It is the year 2045, and the world is teetering towards explosive widespread conflict, the likes of which it hasn’t seen in almost a century. But that won’t stop the Miss Universal Empress beauty pageant from taking place in Barcelona, Spain. The pageant is of particular importance to the Philippines, as the South East Asian nation has so far won four of the world’s top five beauty competitions. A grandslam seems inevitable, but then there’s, well… the prophecy. (source: CCP VLF synopsis)

Spoiler: The prophecy was (how can I explain this) if the Philippines won all beauty competitions, there would be world peace. However, Candida as Miss Universal Empress will die and the other beauty queens will never be married. The two managers debated if they will believe such prophecy. The other manager decided to inform Candida about it. On question and answer portion, she revealed that she already has a child. Instead of losing the contest, the judges were touched by her answer She won the contest. Surprisingly, the world war was halted and Candida really died after winning the crown.

Review:Carlo Vergara’s last year’s entry is one of the best I’ve seen in VLF in general. That’s why I had high expectations with Missing Peace. Its not as great as I expected but I am not disappointed. Carlo Vergara has proven that he’s great in interconnecting an ordinary premise to the bizarre.He can think of a grand situation that can still be pull off with the limitation set by Virgin Labfest. Missing peace is refreshing in Virgin Labfest just like his last year’s “Paano Ako Naging Leading Leady”

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Before officially ending this month of Virgin Labfest (one of my favorite months this year), here are some photos from Virgin Labfest 10.

* Between ten minute intervals, better read the VLF booklet for synopsis.

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*The reason I don’t want to be late. I don’t want to sit at the second floor I can only see actors’ heads there.

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*At the entrance

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* Aside from one act plays, there are also site specific performances that only last about five to ten minutes.

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With the cast and director of Bago Ilibing.

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By Virgin Labfest 10. See you next year! ( I hope as a writer or performaer next time around)

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Virgin Labfest Set A Review

Yes yes! I’m still not done with this. For those who are not familiar, Virgin Labfest is an annual festival of local untested plays held at CCP. It has four sets. IN each set, you will be rewarded with three awesome plays with variety of themes. To read my reviews with other sets, here it is, Set D and Set C.

Set A

Anonymous

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Synopsis:It’s a dreaded reunion between a man and a woman who had anonymous sex two years ago. The man appears at a time the woman is in a relationship. He wants to extort some money from the woman or else he will destroy her by showing a video of their sexual act. The truth is out and puts the current relationship to a test, meanwhile interrogating our own discomfort about this level of sexuality among women.

Spoiler Alert: The couple framed the extortionist by accusing that he stole the supposed to be engagement ring. The lover learned the truth about their past relationship and although he helped the girl to prevent the spreading of the sex video, he left her at the end.

Review:This one has an interesting premise. Sadly it did not leave up to my expectations. The first problem was the extortionist has a small voice. We couldn’t hear him. We only understood whats happening by watching the girl react to what she was saying. Flow of the story… It is kind of scattered and messy. The only redeemable factor here is the leading lady’s performance.

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*At set of Anonymous

Sa Isang Hindi Natatanging Umaga, at ang Ulap ay Dahan-Dahang Pumaibabaw sa Nabubulok na Lungsod.

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Synopsis: Meg and AJ meet in the most typical friendly lunch at work. Five years afterwards, Meg visits AJ’s house on his 40th birthday – a date he had once said would be the day he’ll kill himself. In the short and nostalgic “birthday celebration,” the ghost of a brief but ultimately dead love story awkwardly looms above them.

Spoiler Alert:AJ did  not commit suicide in his 4oth birthday and actually he told Meg that he’s just joking. But what he wanted to right now was to work abroad and left their past behind. They talked about their short relationship and even its over and llicit on top of that, they truly cared for each other. Meg asked him if it saddened him when she left, AJ said that he is sad by default anyway. Meg went back to her miserable marriage life. She looked at the window and stared at the gloomy clouds, realizing she let go of her happiness. 

Review:Sad. This play is sad. While the pairing here is about an illicit relationship, I can’t help but to root for them. Especially to the awkward lonesome big guy named AJ. I actually believe he wanted to die on his 40th birthday. He looks intimidating at first but at the end because of his antics he seem to be a giant teddy bear. The actors performance made this play endearing. Overall I like this play and actually had a special spot on my heart.

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The Actors and the set of Sa Isang Hindi Natatanging Umaga ….

SA PAGITAN NG DALAWANG KAHONG LIHAM

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Synopsis:Not wanting to be left alone by his long-time lover Cards, successful actor Tart reminds Cards of their tempestuous yet romance-filled relationship by reading the letters Cards sent him. To justify their separation, Cards fires back at Tart by reading the letters Tart wrote him. As they consume each other’s box of letters, the history of their love affair flashes back with the intermittent singing of Julie Andrew’s “Time is My Friend.” But even as they traverse the romantic rope tying their two boxes of letters, they eventually learn that in matters of the heart, perhaps love is never enough.


Spoiler Alert: Cards decided to really leave Tart even though he loves him very much. Tart finally let go and let him leave. But when he was finally left alone, he slashed his neck.

Review:This is the most heavy drama this year. While their way of fighting is unique, I think it went overboard and bore me a little bit. The actors are really great and you can feel the desperation atmosphere in them. They showed love each other. Their kisses are even real. (The fujoshi in me rises.) I am for Cards decision to break the relationship. Their relationship is really toxic.

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There comes to a point that most people makes me sick. However, I don’t want to be left alone with myself. As you see, myself can say the most horrible things. It speaks of the things I lack, of the things I am not, of the things I regret. Unlike other people, I have no way to silence myself or get away with it. So when people makes me feel bad, I literally have nowhere to go. And at this point, I usually feel self-destruction is the key.